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Small Group Guide:
Open with prayer.
Go around and give everyone a chance to share about how the past week has been. What’s one highlight? What’s one lowlight?
If your small group has talked about it before, feel free to use this time to hold people accountable to what they’ve asked to be held accountable for previously, and go through the “missional” part of this discussion guide.
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother[a] will be liable to judgment; whoever insults[b]his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell[c] of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.[d]
Message Outline
How do you deal with anger? Is Anger a sin? What is righteous anger? Do you have an anger problem? Anger is a complicated issue, but lucky for us, God has given us guidance on how to deal with it. Today, we’re continuing on in the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus is in the midst of teaching what it looks like for people to be a part of the Kingdom of God. Today, we’re looking at what He has to say about anger.
What not to do with anger:
- Don’t hold onto grudges
Matt. 5:22, 6:14-15, 21:12-17, James 1:19-20, Eph. 4:26
- Don’t be passive aggressive
Matt. 5:22, 9, 18:15-17, James 1:19, Prov. 15:1, Rom. 12:17-21, Col. 3:13, Eph. 4:29, 1 Tim. 2:8, James 1:26, Prov. 12:16-18, Eph. 5:4
- Don’t revert to insults
Matt. 5:22, Col. 4:6, Eph. 4:29, 1 Tim. 2:8, James 1:26, Prov. 12:16-18, Eph. 5:4
What to do with anger:
- Have direct conversations ASAP
Matt. 5:23-24, 18:15-17, Prov. 20:19, Ps. 34:13, 1 Tim. 5:13, James 4:11, Eph. 4:26
- Have a heart of reconciliation
Matt. 5:25-26, Eph. 4:32, Rom. 5:8, 10, 12:20, Luke 23:34, 1 Pet. 4:8, Prov. 25:8
- Be willing to admit mistakes and wrongdoings
Matt. 5:26, Prov. 16:18, 19:11, 28:13, James 5:16, 2 Tim. 3:5
Reflection
Getting Started
– Take some time to read over Matthew 5:21-26 and pray.
– Have you ever read or heard about this before? What stood out to you as we were talking about it?
– What are some common misconceptions about anger among our culture? – What are some common misconceptions about anger among Christians? – Be honest with yourself: have you ever struggled with anger? How so?
– Do you struggle with anger during this season of your life?
– What typically makes you mad?
Diving In
Read Matthew 5:21-22. As Jesus is teaching about anger, He teaches that the standard of checking the box that you’ve never murdered someone isn’t enough. He heightens the standard to what is going on within our hearts. Have you ever struggled with making your faith about lists and checkboxes?
– Jesus’ teachings about anger means we can’t hold onto grudges. Have you struggled with holding onto grudges before? How so? Do you have any grudges now?
– A common struggle that many people deal with when it comes to anger, is being passive aggressive. Do you struggle with being passive aggressive?
– Do you ever revert to dealing with your anger through gossip and name calling?
Read Matthew 5:23-26. Many people get convinced that all anger is bad, but God made you to have emotions, including anger. Read Ephesians 4:26. How do you think understanding this verse would help you to deal with anger in a godly manner?
– How comfortable are you with having direct conversations with people instead of letting your anger fester?
– How can you better have a heart of reconciliation vs. letting your anger burn?
– How do you think admitting to your own failures and wrongdoings would help you when someone confronts you with something?
When we are able to have direct conversations with people, being able to correct others without being confrontational (instead of having our anger burn within us and having it explode out of us when we can’t hold it in any longer) we can have better, deeper relationships with people, and better point people towards Jesus in the midst of conflict. Have you ever experienced that in your life before?
– What relationships in your life would benefit most from you dealing with your anger in a more godly manner?
– In what situations could you point people towards Jesus better if you dealt with your anger in a more godly manner?
– How would dealing with your anger in a more godly manner help your relationship with the Lord?
Applying the Scripture
What are your biggest takeaways from this passage of God’s Word?
– What practical step(s) do you need to implement in your life to apply what God has taught you in this passage of Scripture?
– How would applying this affect your life and your relationship with the Lord?
– Who can you ask to keep you accountable to applying this to your life?
Prayer Time:
Pray for each other in your small group to be faithful take the step(s) that you shared above. Pray for each other and the interactions that they have with those who don’t know Jesus. Pray that God would soften the people’s hearts to what He has for them. Pray that God would give everyone opportunities to share the Gospel.
Staying Missional:
Share spiritual/missional conversations you’ve had where you live, work, and play:
Who did you have a conversation with that took a spiritual/missional turn this week?
What questions did you ask to discover where God is at work in their life, even if they are not aware?
How were you able to share your story of life change or how you have experienced Jesus?
How can you be intentional this week with people where you live, work, and play to have spiritual/missional conversations if the opportunity arises?
Who in your life do you think could be discipleable or open to spiritual/missional conversations?
What’s next?
Discuss the next step for your small group. When will we gather again and what purpose will it fulfill?