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Sermon Series: We are currently going through a sermon series in the Gospel of Matthew. Today, we’re talking about a moment where Jesus teaches us an important lesson on marriage and keeping our hearts soft towards Him.
Teaching About Divorce
19 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”[a]
10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Have you ever been talking to someone, and they totally missed your point that you were trying to make? Jesus has that situation with the religious leaders that were around during His earthly ministry. In the midst of Him doing miracles, they were just concerned about testing Him. By taking a look at Jesus’ response, we can learn not only about God’s heart behind marriage, but also about how to avoid having a hardened heart.
God’s heart is never for divorce, but it is permissible when adultery is committed, and when an unbelieving spouse abandons a believer.
Matt. 19:4-9, 1 Cor. 7:15
We also learn that celibacy is a gift from God that needs to be honored.
Matt. 19:10-12, 1 Cor. 7:6-9, 32-35
Symptoms of a Hardened Heart
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You fail to see God moving
Matt. 19:1-3, 5:8, Ps. 51:10, Heb. 10:22, James 4:8
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You test God
Matt. 19:3, 4:5-7, Deut. 6:16, 1 Cor. 10:9, Rom. 12:1-2
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You ignore God’s Word
Matt. 19:3-6, Rom. 1:18-32, Prov. 1:24-33, Jonah 1:1-17, John 12:48
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You worship legalism instead of sticking to, and getting to the heart of God’s Word
Matt. 19:7-12, Deut. 4:2, Rev. 22:18-19, Heb. 8:10, Jer. 31:33, 2 Cor. 3:3, Ps. 119:11
Reflecting on God’s Word
Getting Started
- Take some time to read over Matthew 18:15-35 and pray.
- Have you ever read or heard about this before? What stood out to you as we were talking about it?
- What surprised you as we talked about it?
- Why do you think that the religious leaders totally missed what Jesus was trying to teach them? How often have you found yourself missing what God has been trying to teach you?
- If you’re married, how would knowing God’s heart behind marriage help you in your marriage?
- If you’re single, how would knowing that celibacy is a gift from God help you?
Diving In
- Read Matthew 19:1-3. Jesus was in the midst of miraculous healings when these religious leaders came to test Him. They totally missed what Jesus was doing, and instead, came at Jesus with their own agenda. How can you avoid making this same mistake in your life?
- The religious leaders in this part of God’s Word tried to test Jesus. Read Matthew 4:5-7, Deuteronomy 6:16, and 1 Corinthians 10:9. How often do you find yourself trying to test God? Now read Romans 12:1-2. How would applying what these verses in Romans teach us to do, help you to avoid testing God?
- Read Matthew 19:4-6. In Jesus’ response, He pointed them back to God’s Word. How quickly, we can forget what God has already pointed out to us! How can you also avoid this mistake?
- It seems as though one big mistake the religious leaders made was worshiping the letter of the law, instead of sticking to and getting to the heart of God’s laws. How can you be sure to stick to and get to the heart of God’s laws, instead of worshipping the letter of the law?
Applying the Scripture
What are your biggest takeaways from this passage of God’s Word?
- What practical step(s) do you need to implement in your life to apply what God has taught you in this passage of Scripture?
- How would applying this affect your life and your relationship with the Lord?
- Who can you ask to keep you accountable to applying this to your life?
Small Group Guide:
Open with prayer.
Go around and give everyone a chance to share about how the past week has been. What’s one highlight? What’s one lowlight?
If your small group has talked about it before, feel free to use this time to hold people accountable to what they’ve asked to be held accountable for previously, and go through the “missional” part of this discussion guide.
Prayer Time:
Pray for each other in your small group to be faithful take the step(s) that you shared above. Pray for each other and the interactions that they have with those who don’t know Jesus. Pray that God would soften the people’s hearts to what He has for them. Pray that God would give everyone opportunities to share the Gospel.
Staying Missional:
Share spiritual/missional conversations you’ve had where you live, work, and play:
Who did you have a conversation with that took a spiritual/missional turn this week?
What questions did you ask to discover where God is at work in their life, even if they are not aware?
How were you able to share your story of life change or how you have experienced Jesus?
How can you be intentional this week with people where you live, work, and play to have spiritual/missional conversations if the opportunity arises?
Who in your life do you think could be discipleable or open to spiritual/missional conversations?
What’s next?
Discuss the next step for your small group. When will we gather again and what purpose will it fulfill?